Of all the genres of furniture which accompany global society, none, arguably, is more self-explanatory, more obvious, than the table.
Yet for all the simplicity, or perhaps exactly because of all the simplicity, the table is, arguably, the most versatile of all the genres of furniture which accompany global society; the contemporary table existing as it does in a myriad forms and contexts.
And not just physical forms and contexts.........
The (hi)story of the table, in terms of verifiable facts, is, at best, unclear, only very few objects having been identified from the darker recesses of time which would allow us to chart an unequivocal path forward; however, and as so oft in life, etymology offers a few more reliable clues: "Table" having as it does its origins in the Latin tabula - board, plank.
And while any table is clearly little more than a board or plank atop a base, someone had to arrive at that. Someone had to develop that. And, one presumes, not least because it is the process via which all furniture genres develop, that someone arrived at the table because a need was identified. And a board or plank atop a base was identified as the optimal solution for that, again one presumes, universal, need.
That original need, and that original solution, may be lost in the mists of time, but since then not only has the board or plank atop a base proven itself to be a near perfect solution to a whole host of needs, nor only has the board or plank atop a base taken on the numerous and varied functions we understand today as "table", but, and regardless of in a domestic, commercial and/or civic context, the table has also contributed to, is reflective of, the changes in and the evolutions of formal, material, constructive, et al understandings of the centuries through which we've passed; centuries of human voyage which have seen the table become one of the most normal and unremarkable objects of furniture, something so logical, so self-explanatory, you can't imagine it previously wasn't, can't imagine it was something which had to become, and which in doing so has seen the table work its way into our languages in a myriad forms as rich and enriching as the physical table...........
"This table has four sturdy legs", The Beautiful South inform us, and you think, yeah standard table (ooh-oooh), an impression reinforced as we're informed it is an object which over the years has been sat upon (ooh-oooh), wined upon (ooh-oooh), dined upon (ooh-oooh), treated like a bed (ooh-oooh) and spat upon (ooh-oooh), although honestly who spits on tables. That's disgusting!! And despite being over 20 years old, the table in question remains achingly contemporary as it finds itself, "taken for a desk when they should have been at school". But couldn't on account of Covid (ooh-oooh).
And being the standard table it is understood as (ooh-oooh), The Table also exists, one presumes, according to established and accepted conventions and standards, the ebb and flow of its days tending to follow the same rituals and events, the same people sitting at the same places at the same time, the same tasks completed at the same place, day in day out, ad nauseam, ad infinitum (ooh-oooh). The table leads a life of gentle familiarity.
However, as we all know, familiarity can breed contempt. Something, one gets the impression, the table is beginning to appreciate, feeling, as it does, more like a slave than a respected partner. A situation which, reading between the lines, means the table may be beginning to seek its voice, means the table may, possibly, one day, scream out loud.
But can tables change, can tables turn (ooh-oooh).
Yes. However, "tables only turn when tables learn" ..... which yes does sound like a metaphor.... indeed, now you mention it.... sat upon (ooh-oooh), wined upon (ooh-oooh), dined upon (ooh-oooh), taken for a fool (ooh-oooh), pushed against the door (ooh-oooh), spat upon (ooh-oooh).... people may not spit on tables, but do spit on each other. Which is disgusting. And indicative of the real stage of development contemporary humanity finds itself in after its centuries of voyaging. A stage we really need to move on from.
But "tables only turn when tables learn"........
Amongst the many and varied roles tables have found for themselves one of the most universal is without question the dining table.
And while it would be untrue to state that wherever global society has established itself it has eaten around tables, it is very true to state that in large swathes of human society the dining table is one of the most important cultural locations: the large banquets and feasts that mark the passing of life, the business and political dinners at which the fate of society is sealed in the absence of that society, or the innumerable daily domestic dramas with which we are all familiar, all being staged around the dining table........
Which poses the question, what is a dining table without food?
Not only an object denied its function, but also a very keen reminder that for all money can buy, nothing better shows that you care for others, better underscores the importance and regard in which you hold others, than ensuring everyone has enough food on the table. Everything else is meaningless baubles, the distracting background noise of contemporary society.
Always was. Always will be.
For all that tables are about the top, about that which is on the table, that which is visible, as with so much in life, of equal relevance and importance is that which is concealed, that which occurs under the table.
Few locations are evocative as the space under our tables, a space that for all it is considered an empty, inactive, space, is a space we all know is highly functional. Just not always in a positive, socially healthy manner. A space which is often functional in the sense of dysfunctional. And thus making it simultaneously a space of grotesque fascination and a location which polite society seeks to deny. But which is part of life.
As is conflict.
Fiona Apple's narrator has clearly been dragged along by her partner to a dinner party with people who for her partner are important, influential and to be obliged; and who for the narrator, for reasons unclear, are to be resisted.
And so the narrator resits. And the partner kicks her under the table. And the partner kicks and kicks, but the narrator doesn't shut up, won't shut up......and why should she? If you have issues, put them on the table where they can be discussed. Openly. Without the oppression of secrecy.
In addition it is an excellent example of that glorious genre of songs where you can't work out why a couple are even together.......
Nothing defines love, affection, happiness, nothing symbolises a harmonic, meaningful existence better or more succinctly than a table for two. Whomever is sat at a table for two is where humans are meant to be. Whomever isn't has nothing.
Which clearly isn't true, is clearly an artificial construction built upon the shaky foundations of social prejudice and mortal fear; and as such is equally clearly undeniable.
Thus for our narrator, "it's just no good any more when you walk through the door, Of an empty room, And you go inside and set a table for one", and for all "it's no fun"
And while the narrator is clearly missing their former other, something most poetically underscored by them sleeping in a chair - for who whom was once two needs a bed when they are one? - you can't help feeling that if it wasn't for the social pressure to be half of a table for two rather than the whole of a table for one, his world wouldn't seem as hopeless, and certainly thoughts of death would be less present and prominent. And by extrapolation one can't help feeling that as a species we do put an awful lot of unnecessary extra pressure on ourselves, rather than concentrating on the essentials.
And concentrating on the fun.
(On a point of order, the song is a Harry Nilsson composition, we just prefer the Glen Campbell arrangement. But Nilsson's original is also well worth becoming familiar with.....)
For all that tables are largely considered in context of dining, coffee, sofa, conference, etc, the logic inherent in the board or plank atop a base, means that tables are found in all manner of locations and serving all manner of functions be that, and amongst others, the operating table, the bar table, the workshop table, or the poker table. And indeed amongst those tables that have survived since antiquity, the gaming table is almost as frequently encountered as the dining.
Which is most appropriate, for what is life if not a perpetual game of cards?
A game of cards in which the "secret to survivin'" is "knowin' what to throw away And knowin' what to keep" and that means "you've got to know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away And know when to run".
But how do you know?
Or, to paraphrase Søren Kierkegaard, we can but play the hands life deals us in the belief that we are making the best decisions, while being very much aware that only time will tell if we really are.
Which, yes, is intolerable.
But means we're all well advised to "never count your money, When you're sittin' at the table", cause on the one hand who knows how the game will turn, and on the other "there'll be time enough for countin', When the dealin's done".
The Radio smow Tables Playlist, and all Radio smow playlists can be found on the smowonline Spotify page.
